I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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