Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
i think im in europe. pls send help
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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