We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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