You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
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