we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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