If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
