I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
two words: eviction party
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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