I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
