i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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