I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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