fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
