whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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