Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
We are two peas in an std pod
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
