So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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