i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
