Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
