Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
