All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
We had sex on a dog bed..
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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