Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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