Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
