Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
