You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Umm I'm too high to move.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
