idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
