My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
