So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
