It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
He passed out mid-signature
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize