I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
