the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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