some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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