I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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