I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
