You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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