So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
