$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
