So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
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