Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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