Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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