Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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