mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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