my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
