Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
home. puking in laundry basket.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Randomize