Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
