Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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