butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
