i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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