he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
