Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Randomize
