Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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