There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
