I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
how does that bad decision feel?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize