I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize