i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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