you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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