i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
