i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
