What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
