K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
