Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
