He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
