I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
