She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
