Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
