the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Randomize