i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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