If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize