i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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