Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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