I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
